We must learn to give our full attention. The better we listen and communicate our desire that we care about what others say. the more powerful the connection. We must develop the ability to focus. When our attention wanders we must redirect our attention back to the person. The skill of attentive behavior is a master key to success.
Ask yourself how well this is working for you now.
Do you interrupt people when talking?
Do you think about your response while they are still talking?
If we answer yes then there is work to do. I know I still have work to do.
It is very easy to not look into a person’s eyes. In our society today, people have a hard time with this one. We must learn to consider the eyes of the person we are talking to. The connection we make by considering their eyes and paying close attention to what they say will speak volumes.
When speaking to someone do you look past them?
Do you look down or away often?
Connect with people by allowing them to see you do not have all the answers. Allow yourself to be real and transparent. People want to know others who are knowledgeable but also who are real. Always speak to others on their level and connect in common ways. This is a skill set that must be learned in many cases.
Do you always answer a question or do you ask them?
Do you look for the input of others without adding your own to further make the point?
Do you make people feel like smarter after being around you?
The truth is we may be more knowledgeable about issues than them. Always make them feel important and their answers must be valuable. If we always must elaborate past their answer than we lose the power of connection.
We become self-absorbed not others absorbed. Never lie or bend the truth. If something is wrong with their answers questions are great steering wheels to truth. They are still contributing the answers and they leave lifted, they build enthusiasm.
There are many studies out there that believe it’s okay to fake your way through things. I know we need to do this at times but one things we should never fake is our pure intentions. People will feel our energy quickly so we must be genuine and not fake with our intentions.
Be sure the reason we are doing something is not selfish. If we only talk to someone for our own needs we are being self-centered.
Do you only have conversations about what you want to talk about?
Do you always bring a conversation back to your accomplishments, what is happening in your life? Do you ask them about their lives and remember past details?
These are skills that will empower us to grow our relationships and move us in the right direction. We serve others and in the process, help ourselves by focusing on them.